Firstly, Happy belated Easter or Passover or hope you had a good week…. but back to Emotional Energy… The first thing that comes to mind when someone talks about this is spoons. If you haven’t read about Spoon Theory, I suggest you take a look at the article linked when you have time, however, this is not what I’m talking about. There is another type of draining that those of us with mental illness experience regularly, I often call it “crashing” when it hits hard.
Sometimes when I talk about my emotional energy, I call it my ability to “people” such as “I just can’t people anymore today.” There is more to it than that, though. Things like hanging out with family take an emotional toll on me, hanging out with groups of people, but also solo activities such as writing this blog. It’s about accessing too much emotion and needing a break afterwards to recharge. Often I can still do things, I just can’t do anything that’s emotionally intensive.
This is why when I started this blog, I stopped writing on my mental health facebook page. Each of these things affect me emotionally so trying to do both of them was leaving me so drained that I would stop talking to friends completely. I was afraid if they had a problem, I wouldn’t have answers so I would avoid it altogether. This is also why its been days since I posted last. The passing of my friend years ago on Easter weekend affects me each year. Visiting a lot of family for the holiday also takes a lot of energy (I’m not christian but to me certain “religious” holidays are still “family” holidays)
I find myself completely drained of creativity, of ideas. I feel like I am lost and no questions really have answers I can reach. I try to give myself time to recharge my emotional energy by mostly isolating, playing games, watching Netflix, things that don’t require me to experience deep emotions. Over-stimulation can also lead to me needing this time – too many people or too much excitement. I call it “crashing” or “feeling crashy” because it’s like coming down from a high, even if I didn’t experience a “positive” high, the high is the level of energy I gave, and so it feels like crashing down inside my head.
I feel like this has been a very rambling post and I think I still have not fully recovered my energy from this weekend. I really just wanted to check in as it’s been a few days and explain where I’ve been. I know at least some of you have been here too. I don’t know if anyone’s told you or not but we get it, you’re not alone in needing time off from life sometimes.