Addiction isn’t always the end.

But some days, it is.

There are many types of addiction. Substance, gambling, sex, self harm. You can argue for days about who or what to blame, the addict, mental health, society… The reality is it does not matter who you blame. Addiction ruins lives. Addiction kills.

I am writing this because it claimed another life of someone I knew. I found out yesterday. I didn’t know him extremely well but he was loved by many that I love and this compounds my grief as I feel for them.

I am writing this because if you struggle with addiction, I want you to know that I don’t blame you. I will not shame you. We all have our demons and our crosses to bear. I am writing this to say that you deserve help. I want you to know that there are always people to reach out to. If the ones you’ve reached out to so far have not helped enough, reach out to others. Seek help. It is there.

When you are ready to live a different life, it is waiting for you. If you relapse, all is not lost. You will never lose the time you had clean/safe. No one can ever take that away from you.

You are important. You are loved. There are those of us that want you in this world. Please, when you’re ready, reach out. Find your support circle and USE us. That’s what we’re for.

~In Memory of C.M.~

~Brutally Honest Eccentric~

I found out last night

Right now, The Neverending Story is playing in the background and I’ve paused a game on my phone. I was going to write a post this morning. I was going to try to tackle something about fear or pain or medication. I was going to just try to get some sleep first. I was going to only be up for a moment…

However, I found out last night, during one of my repeated wakings, that a friend had passed. I was going to tackle grief. There it was, clear as day, what I wanted to share openly with all of you.

She passed due to an overdose. I was going to tackle addiction and share with you my feelings about a struggle that faces as much stigma as mental illness and sometimes shares a mind with it.

I was going to tell you my coping skills that I was trying to implement. This is as far as I am going to get right now. I will share my grief with you when I am ready to share. I will share my frustrations and fears. I will share my love for my friend. I will share my tears and the tears of those close to me.

But not today.  Today I am going to watch my movies and play my games and cry to myself because that is how I need to grieve right now. There is no wrong way to grieve, and so this is right for me.

~Brutally Honest Eccentric~

In loving memory of CP, may she and her loved ones find peace.